AUTUMN EDITION 2012
REMEMBER TO BREATHE
It is rarely the case that one seeks to be a hero or chooses adversity to later tell tales of the long journey that had been travelled. It more commonly is the case that life happens and for many, it is doing the best that can be done with what is available in those moments. Perhaps what makes any story interesting is how it ends; or perhaps it is the consistent element of hope that within each us of provides the light that no matter what, we will always find a way to get there; to make it through and talk about it in the end.
Some of my story includes these elements. The one thing that is consistent is hope because without this continuing simply wouldn’t have been possible...
As a teenager I was an aspiring performer. I choreographed routines, sang for hours and struggled to fit into a country town culture. Whilst my ambitions were to pursue performing, within a blink of an eye I found myself doing, in no better terms, ‘secretarial studies’. To me, this was the worst possible scenario however, as I noticed the years pass me by the pay seemed to mildly compensate for not living my dreams.
After five years I went into finance and human resources as I had thought that climbing the corporate ladder to the glass ceiling was the best way to create the life that I wanted. It was with the anticipation of a life full of freedom and options. This however, was not what happened. Over the years I gained a lot of knowledge, experience and skills in running businesses in a multitude of industries. I assisted many businesses evolve, grow and become what they had the potential to become holding my first senior management role at the age of 24 in a company of three hundred, however, the essence of who I was had not even come close to being satisfied.
I did not give my passion(s) priority. They were considered a liability not an asset and thus, they were treated as no more than a hobby; to be undertaken in spare time. Consequently any development was done in accordance with improving the resume.
Within a short period of time I found myself working 80+ hour weeks and struggled to have any life outside of work. There was this nagging sensation at the back of my mind which I continually dismissed and kept going. I kept telling myself that this was the only option, irrelevant of the affect that it had on me within; underneath the surface.
In addition to this, there is a darker layer to my story. All the while I suffered depression, severe depression. I had been suffering from it since my teenage years. Going back twenty plus years ago this was classified having mood swings and was not even considered an illness. I used writing as a tool to release some of the torment I felt; however, when travelling on a downward spiral at some point I had to hit the bottom.
Eight years ago I had a nervous breakdown. The kind of breakdown where all hope is lost and the only thing I wanted to do was to leave this life. It even got to the point of having my jars of varying medications lined up on my coffee table. Yet, through the compassion of a stranger on the other side of the country I am here today.
I took my breakdown as a turning point and I recreated myself; in some way reconnected to who I was all those years ago. I had been so convinced that I needed to be how I was told to be, making others happy and often being the wallflower that sat in complete sullen despair hoping for the day, the week; the year to end. Simply, I had no idea who I was and the unbearable pain I held onto felt as though this was what was keeping me together. However, little by little the change I needed so desperately became greater and greater. Ever so slowly the pain started to relinquish.
The extent of what I changed over this time included everything from my full name, disassociating with all relatives, throwing out everything I owned for the last twenty years and even changing my career. I did courses upon courses in search of this person that had been somehow lost. I studied yoga, meditation, reiki, metaphysics, paganism, paranormal, diet and herbs, human resources, accounting, fitness then to advanced coaching, timeline therapy, NLP, behavioural profiling, management, leadership, training and even completed my Masters (in writing).
One of the biggest lessons I learned was that growth is about doing what feels right from within, deep within. To take this even further, to live congruently is to do what feels right from within. Everything that I needed was within and once I allowed myself to trust then the word “can’t” no longer existed.
The odds had always been against me however, my determination seemed to be deaf to such logic. As a child I never had any opportunities to undertake what others did. So at the age of 23 I took up gymnastics and continued to do this for five years. Ten years ago I took up learning to play the piano and I am now up to completing grade five in the AMEB program.
My life has been far from easy. I have found myself being molested by my ex’s stepfather, in abusive relationships, beaten, used, abused and bullied as a child, disregarded and even drugged to find myself fighting off someone I thought was a friend. Last year I found out that after everything I am not even related to the family I grew up with.
One thing I know for sure is to never give up. The more I allowed myself to know who I am, the more I knew what I was made of and the amount of strength I really had, the more courage I could find within myself to stand up for that which mattered. It was aligning to my core values, which is the very basis of who I am as a person. These values include integrity, respect, loyalty and living with compassion, passion and being open to unconditional love.
Today, aside a multitude of qualifications and twenty years worth of experience, I have published five books, I write for numerous sites and have a monthly column in two, I recorded the song I wrote for my wedding, I sang Phantom of the Opera in front of 2000 people, I have trekked in Nepal by myself, I have a mean roundhouse kick, I can still do bridges (back bends) and I still write songs. I have an ability to travel between metaphysical planes, know things that lack any logic and communicate with things that cannot be seen. I have a successful business that I built from the ground up and I do what I love every day. I am extremely passionate, I have a family I will protect with all that I am and most of all, I walk in my truth every single day.
Overcoming adversity and living authentically is not about anything other than it feels natural and it has a flow that makes sense. No one trauma is better or worse than another. It is more about what you choose to do in that situation that will later define you. Not because of the situation but because of the way you see yourself. As such, it can never about how easy the journey is; it is about what you allow yourself to be proud of when you look in the mirror, knowing that irrelevant of what happens you will remain to be you in the most authentic way. It is because of this that life’s adversities become the achievements that are as simple as breathing.
Please let me know if you require any further details.
Warmest Regards
Hally Rhiannon-Nammu
Some of my story includes these elements. The one thing that is consistent is hope because without this continuing simply wouldn’t have been possible...
As a teenager I was an aspiring performer. I choreographed routines, sang for hours and struggled to fit into a country town culture. Whilst my ambitions were to pursue performing, within a blink of an eye I found myself doing, in no better terms, ‘secretarial studies’. To me, this was the worst possible scenario however, as I noticed the years pass me by the pay seemed to mildly compensate for not living my dreams.
After five years I went into finance and human resources as I had thought that climbing the corporate ladder to the glass ceiling was the best way to create the life that I wanted. It was with the anticipation of a life full of freedom and options. This however, was not what happened. Over the years I gained a lot of knowledge, experience and skills in running businesses in a multitude of industries. I assisted many businesses evolve, grow and become what they had the potential to become holding my first senior management role at the age of 24 in a company of three hundred, however, the essence of who I was had not even come close to being satisfied.
I did not give my passion(s) priority. They were considered a liability not an asset and thus, they were treated as no more than a hobby; to be undertaken in spare time. Consequently any development was done in accordance with improving the resume.
Within a short period of time I found myself working 80+ hour weeks and struggled to have any life outside of work. There was this nagging sensation at the back of my mind which I continually dismissed and kept going. I kept telling myself that this was the only option, irrelevant of the affect that it had on me within; underneath the surface.
In addition to this, there is a darker layer to my story. All the while I suffered depression, severe depression. I had been suffering from it since my teenage years. Going back twenty plus years ago this was classified having mood swings and was not even considered an illness. I used writing as a tool to release some of the torment I felt; however, when travelling on a downward spiral at some point I had to hit the bottom.
Eight years ago I had a nervous breakdown. The kind of breakdown where all hope is lost and the only thing I wanted to do was to leave this life. It even got to the point of having my jars of varying medications lined up on my coffee table. Yet, through the compassion of a stranger on the other side of the country I am here today.
I took my breakdown as a turning point and I recreated myself; in some way reconnected to who I was all those years ago. I had been so convinced that I needed to be how I was told to be, making others happy and often being the wallflower that sat in complete sullen despair hoping for the day, the week; the year to end. Simply, I had no idea who I was and the unbearable pain I held onto felt as though this was what was keeping me together. However, little by little the change I needed so desperately became greater and greater. Ever so slowly the pain started to relinquish.
The extent of what I changed over this time included everything from my full name, disassociating with all relatives, throwing out everything I owned for the last twenty years and even changing my career. I did courses upon courses in search of this person that had been somehow lost. I studied yoga, meditation, reiki, metaphysics, paganism, paranormal, diet and herbs, human resources, accounting, fitness then to advanced coaching, timeline therapy, NLP, behavioural profiling, management, leadership, training and even completed my Masters (in writing).
One of the biggest lessons I learned was that growth is about doing what feels right from within, deep within. To take this even further, to live congruently is to do what feels right from within. Everything that I needed was within and once I allowed myself to trust then the word “can’t” no longer existed.
The odds had always been against me however, my determination seemed to be deaf to such logic. As a child I never had any opportunities to undertake what others did. So at the age of 23 I took up gymnastics and continued to do this for five years. Ten years ago I took up learning to play the piano and I am now up to completing grade five in the AMEB program.
My life has been far from easy. I have found myself being molested by my ex’s stepfather, in abusive relationships, beaten, used, abused and bullied as a child, disregarded and even drugged to find myself fighting off someone I thought was a friend. Last year I found out that after everything I am not even related to the family I grew up with.
One thing I know for sure is to never give up. The more I allowed myself to know who I am, the more I knew what I was made of and the amount of strength I really had, the more courage I could find within myself to stand up for that which mattered. It was aligning to my core values, which is the very basis of who I am as a person. These values include integrity, respect, loyalty and living with compassion, passion and being open to unconditional love.
Today, aside a multitude of qualifications and twenty years worth of experience, I have published five books, I write for numerous sites and have a monthly column in two, I recorded the song I wrote for my wedding, I sang Phantom of the Opera in front of 2000 people, I have trekked in Nepal by myself, I have a mean roundhouse kick, I can still do bridges (back bends) and I still write songs. I have an ability to travel between metaphysical planes, know things that lack any logic and communicate with things that cannot be seen. I have a successful business that I built from the ground up and I do what I love every day. I am extremely passionate, I have a family I will protect with all that I am and most of all, I walk in my truth every single day.
Overcoming adversity and living authentically is not about anything other than it feels natural and it has a flow that makes sense. No one trauma is better or worse than another. It is more about what you choose to do in that situation that will later define you. Not because of the situation but because of the way you see yourself. As such, it can never about how easy the journey is; it is about what you allow yourself to be proud of when you look in the mirror, knowing that irrelevant of what happens you will remain to be you in the most authentic way. It is because of this that life’s adversities become the achievements that are as simple as breathing.
Please let me know if you require any further details.
Warmest Regards
Hally Rhiannon-Nammu
By Isabelle Spencer
8th March 2012
8th March 2012
RUN FOR MY LIFE
"Run!” We panicked as the shrieking alarm pierced the night in Sydney's western suburbs. Ben bolted through an opening in the circus tent, clutching a stolen sombrero to his head. Within seconds angry circus folk were piling out of their caravans and surging towards the two intruders. Tottering in high heels and also wearing a sombrero, I tried to follow my accomplice, but to no avail. The circus folk quickly caught me and held me captive.
That night was similar to a lot of "Westy" forays for my friends and I. We never stole anything or hurt anyone on our hair-raising adventures, but we always got drunk and took risks. That night's impromptu assignment was to break into a circus tent and try on as many flamboyant costumes as we could. No harm was done. The sombreros were returned to the circus folk and we were lucky to escape arrest.
Yet over the years these seemingly innocent pranks, fuelled by copious amounts of alcohol, grew stale. My friends, then in their early 20s, changed. Some matured and settled into a stable adulthood. But many of them, immobilised by anger and trauma, were powerless to overcome their addictions.
ME:
My original name was Isabelle Spencer. I was adopted when I was four months old and became Peta Brugel. My biological mother was deeply depressed while pregnant with me and felt guilty for harbouring negative thoughts about the child in her womb. The trauma of putting me up for adoption prompted her to undergo intensive psychotherapy. When I met her 30 years later she told me her decision had saved her life. If only I could save my own.
My adoptive parents love me fiercely, but from the moment they took me in as a baby I would not stop crying. I was broken, quite possibly suffering withdrawals. A broken connection and a broken heart so early in life is difficult to compensate for and as time went on our arguments did too. On reading my medical history I learned that mental illness was prevalent in my biological family, my uncle having taken his own life after being diagnosed with schizophrenia.
I began to worry there was little hope of me leading a productive life. This is when my psychologist suggested Heal for Life, a retreat for survivors of childhood trauma. Set in the Hunter Valley’s majestic countryside, this retreat is run “by survivors, for survivors”, striving to heal survivors of childhood trauma and abuse. That very first morning when I went for my jog, alone in the fresh air, nature and among kangaroos, I felt the healing begin.
THE RUN:
Running from Canberra to Sydney is something I have wanted to do for 10 years. TEN! Last year two of my childhood friends were found dead within a month of each other. One from drug abuse and the other … well his body just gave up, unable to cope after years of alcohol abuse. This feeling of a sad powerlessness made me more determined to make the run happen.
In my 30 years I have attended several funerals for friends who had chosen to end their own lives, as well as for those whose substance abuse ended their lives for them. Likewise I’ve seen lives wasted away, evaporated into the air along with the bong smoke. I very nearly wasted mine. I still battle the daily menacing whispers of my demons. “Give up,” they say. “You are no good. You never will be. You are not strong enough. You are a lie”. Sometimes - often - I revert to old habits. But I will not give in, because those thoughts are the lie. Not me.
The American entertainer Henry Rollins once said: “I believe all people are born with great exception, as a high performance vehicle, perfectly built, and the only thing that gets in the way of that, especially in their younger years, is the toxins they put in their bodies.” Although I don’t entirely agree with him (childhood trauma often changes a person long before coping mechanisms spring into action), he makes a good point.
It is difficult to ignore the "hater voices" and to maintain faith in my running. I need to constantly immerse myself in reminders, pictures of my heroes, and books about running or battling the odds – anything that works. Also, as someone who is prone to depression, getting myself out to run on days when I am not myself is a challenge.
A large part of me wants to prove something. Prove it to myself, and to others. Not in a “look at me” kind of way. I have battled, and still do, an eating disorder, drug addiction and alcoholism. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder several years ago and have also attended several healing weeks to deal with childhood trauma.
I know how effective exercise can be in dealing with depression. I also know what it’s like to think you will never overcome your problems. This run to from Canberra will be beyond tough but I want to take a stand and show people there is another way. If I can do this, they too can keep on battling … and take more forward steps than backward ones. Even if they are only small steps, it all adds up.
On its website, Heal for Life says: ''Healing from trauma and abuse takes everything you've got, but you've got everything it takes."
I saw people who’ve endured unspeakable mistreatment at last find a voice and that precious child within. I am looking forward to helping such a valuable creation by being all that I can be – by connecting to my own voice and my own never-say-die child within.
Isabelle Spencer
[email protected]
That night was similar to a lot of "Westy" forays for my friends and I. We never stole anything or hurt anyone on our hair-raising adventures, but we always got drunk and took risks. That night's impromptu assignment was to break into a circus tent and try on as many flamboyant costumes as we could. No harm was done. The sombreros were returned to the circus folk and we were lucky to escape arrest.
Yet over the years these seemingly innocent pranks, fuelled by copious amounts of alcohol, grew stale. My friends, then in their early 20s, changed. Some matured and settled into a stable adulthood. But many of them, immobilised by anger and trauma, were powerless to overcome their addictions.
ME:
My original name was Isabelle Spencer. I was adopted when I was four months old and became Peta Brugel. My biological mother was deeply depressed while pregnant with me and felt guilty for harbouring negative thoughts about the child in her womb. The trauma of putting me up for adoption prompted her to undergo intensive psychotherapy. When I met her 30 years later she told me her decision had saved her life. If only I could save my own.
My adoptive parents love me fiercely, but from the moment they took me in as a baby I would not stop crying. I was broken, quite possibly suffering withdrawals. A broken connection and a broken heart so early in life is difficult to compensate for and as time went on our arguments did too. On reading my medical history I learned that mental illness was prevalent in my biological family, my uncle having taken his own life after being diagnosed with schizophrenia.
I began to worry there was little hope of me leading a productive life. This is when my psychologist suggested Heal for Life, a retreat for survivors of childhood trauma. Set in the Hunter Valley’s majestic countryside, this retreat is run “by survivors, for survivors”, striving to heal survivors of childhood trauma and abuse. That very first morning when I went for my jog, alone in the fresh air, nature and among kangaroos, I felt the healing begin.
THE RUN:
Running from Canberra to Sydney is something I have wanted to do for 10 years. TEN! Last year two of my childhood friends were found dead within a month of each other. One from drug abuse and the other … well his body just gave up, unable to cope after years of alcohol abuse. This feeling of a sad powerlessness made me more determined to make the run happen.
In my 30 years I have attended several funerals for friends who had chosen to end their own lives, as well as for those whose substance abuse ended their lives for them. Likewise I’ve seen lives wasted away, evaporated into the air along with the bong smoke. I very nearly wasted mine. I still battle the daily menacing whispers of my demons. “Give up,” they say. “You are no good. You never will be. You are not strong enough. You are a lie”. Sometimes - often - I revert to old habits. But I will not give in, because those thoughts are the lie. Not me.
The American entertainer Henry Rollins once said: “I believe all people are born with great exception, as a high performance vehicle, perfectly built, and the only thing that gets in the way of that, especially in their younger years, is the toxins they put in their bodies.” Although I don’t entirely agree with him (childhood trauma often changes a person long before coping mechanisms spring into action), he makes a good point.
It is difficult to ignore the "hater voices" and to maintain faith in my running. I need to constantly immerse myself in reminders, pictures of my heroes, and books about running or battling the odds – anything that works. Also, as someone who is prone to depression, getting myself out to run on days when I am not myself is a challenge.
A large part of me wants to prove something. Prove it to myself, and to others. Not in a “look at me” kind of way. I have battled, and still do, an eating disorder, drug addiction and alcoholism. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder several years ago and have also attended several healing weeks to deal with childhood trauma.
I know how effective exercise can be in dealing with depression. I also know what it’s like to think you will never overcome your problems. This run to from Canberra will be beyond tough but I want to take a stand and show people there is another way. If I can do this, they too can keep on battling … and take more forward steps than backward ones. Even if they are only small steps, it all adds up.
On its website, Heal for Life says: ''Healing from trauma and abuse takes everything you've got, but you've got everything it takes."
I saw people who’ve endured unspeakable mistreatment at last find a voice and that precious child within. I am looking forward to helping such a valuable creation by being all that I can be – by connecting to my own voice and my own never-say-die child within.
Isabelle Spencer
[email protected]
By Robert Rule
Founder Assist Mid North Coast Branch
8th March 2012
Founder Assist Mid North Coast Branch
8th March 2012
PAYING LOVE FORWARD
It wouldn’t be hard to say that in life, my biggest inspiration is my late wife Adele.
As a cancer support worker she constantly amazed me, helping people battle the toughest fight of their lives. The time she gave to others was tremendous – whether it was helping youth or donating cattle to the local high school for lessons – she was always helping someone.
In 2008, Adele died after a long-term battle with cancer. Since 1980 she had been receiving treatment for melanoma and was diagnosed with breast cancer. Before her death, we had discussed what she wanted to do to raise awareness of breast cancer in the community. Even while battling her own disease, she was thinking of others.
In line with her wishes, I established the Mid North Coast Can Assist branch in 2010. I wanted to honour her wish to help others suffering cancer and to continue Adele’s volunteer work myself. The local branch of Can Assist helps cancer sufferers and their families throughout the region. Giving countless hours of my own time, I help administer financial aid and support services to make local’s cancer journeys easier. We provide travel costs, wigs and accommodation for people affected by cancer and it can be shocking to see the number of people we help. Cancer really is something that touches everyone.
It isn’t easy watching other people go through what Adele did. But I find comfort in being able to help in some small way. I think helping others is a great positive in life and I am supremely passionate about helping people battling cancer, raising awareness and raising funds for cancer research. I guess this attitude has always been a part of my life – I used to be a volunteer firefighter, helping protect properties and save lives.
In memory of my wife, I donated a boat to the Camden Haven Dragon Boat Club to raise awareness and support for breast cancer. The boat is named after Adele, and is great to see gliding along the waterways here, crewed by a group of women – many who have battled breast cancer themselves. This year Sensis picked me to be on the cover of the Port Macquarie White Pages® and Yellow Pages® under the theme A Helping Hand, The Aussie Way. They shot the photo on the banks of the Camden Haven River with the Adele Rule dragon boat in the background. Amazingly, all but one of the women photographed in the boat had been affected by breast cancer.
I believe in helping others, making their lives and journeys easier. That’s why I founded a Men’s Shed in Laurieton in August 2010. Men’s issues are often swept under the carpet and we don’t really like talking about them, but I saw a need. Providing the majority of funds for the shed’s construction, I have made it my latest mission. The shed will be finished in July and we’ve already got almost 200 men signed up. I’m hoping it provides a sense of mateship to men who might be struggling with depression for whatever reason.
If I’ve come to realise anything in life, it is that good health is precious. And also that good support, mateship and help can really make a difference. I love being able to help other people in my community. I don’t expect any accolades for it – it is just what has got to be done. My wife Adele was always my inspiration when it came to giving her time and supporting others doing it tough – now I just hope that I might be able to inspire one other person to do the same. If that happens, maybe they will inspire someone and so on, until all of Australia is giving back.
By Allan Sheldon
8th March 2012
8th March 2012
STRONG FOR OTHERS
Throughout my life, I have always felt like I could do more for others. I think we all feel that way on some level. As a roadside assist operator, I was continually seeing tragic circumstances and wanting to help. Ten years ago this led me to join the Taree Volunteer Rescue Association (VRA). We’re a group of volunteers on the mid north coast of NSW who give up our free time to be on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week in emergencies.
We’re the guys and girls you see helping at car accidents, search and rescues and natural disasters. We’re different from the State Emergency Service (SES), but work alongside them as well. It’s a demanding job to do in your spare time, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Some people wonder how we can do it – we see some things no one should ever see. At times it can be hard to cope, but you do. I also get an overwhelming sense of satisfaction helping save the lives of people in my community. People have come up to me over the years to thank me for the role I played in their rescue, or months after cutting them from a vehicle. After rescuing someone, you often don’t find out what happened to them, so it is great to see them doing well.
Always wanting to go further and help in a bigger capacity, I became captain of the Taree VRA a few years ago. Being captain can be a lot of pressure – you have to lead your team through some really difficult times, difficult rescues and difficult conditions, such as motor vehicle accidents, animal rescues, vertical rescues, inland waterway jobs and assissisting other services. You have to keep the equipment ticking over. And, at the end of the day, you are the one responsible for ensuring the community is properly protected and that it has a rescue organisation it can rely on no matter what.
As someone who continually strives to do more, I took on a pretty big task on top of all the call outs and overseeing the group a few years back. Feeling the region needed more protection, I decided to build another emergency response vehicle that was better equipped to respond in extreme conditions. It took the team at Taree VRA more than 1000 man hours to get it on the road – all of these hours in our spare time – and countless hours fundraising the money to pay for it. The support from the business houses and the community for the project was overwhelming.
What really helped me in getting it going, were my fellow VRA volunteers. Their support was instrumental. Cultivating a strong team that supports me in good times and tough times is the best advice I can give anyone. Our VRA members come from all walks of life, but they all have one thing in common – the desire to help out and give back to their community. They’re people you can count on and I’m proud to have every single one of them in our Taree VRA organisation.
This year I was selected by Sensis to be on the cover of the Taree White Pages® and Yellow Pages® in recognition of my work with the VRA. The theme is A Helping Hand, The Aussie Way, and helping others is exactly that – the Aussie way. I hope recognition of the VRA makes the community proud, as well as our volunteers who give so much.
With the new vehicle, Taree is now well protected in emergencies and we continue to be tested, most recently with terrible floods. I’m happy to see the new vehicle we took upon ourselves to build for the community out there helping residents when they need it most.
We’re the guys and girls you see helping at car accidents, search and rescues and natural disasters. We’re different from the State Emergency Service (SES), but work alongside them as well. It’s a demanding job to do in your spare time, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Some people wonder how we can do it – we see some things no one should ever see. At times it can be hard to cope, but you do. I also get an overwhelming sense of satisfaction helping save the lives of people in my community. People have come up to me over the years to thank me for the role I played in their rescue, or months after cutting them from a vehicle. After rescuing someone, you often don’t find out what happened to them, so it is great to see them doing well.
Always wanting to go further and help in a bigger capacity, I became captain of the Taree VRA a few years ago. Being captain can be a lot of pressure – you have to lead your team through some really difficult times, difficult rescues and difficult conditions, such as motor vehicle accidents, animal rescues, vertical rescues, inland waterway jobs and assissisting other services. You have to keep the equipment ticking over. And, at the end of the day, you are the one responsible for ensuring the community is properly protected and that it has a rescue organisation it can rely on no matter what.
As someone who continually strives to do more, I took on a pretty big task on top of all the call outs and overseeing the group a few years back. Feeling the region needed more protection, I decided to build another emergency response vehicle that was better equipped to respond in extreme conditions. It took the team at Taree VRA more than 1000 man hours to get it on the road – all of these hours in our spare time – and countless hours fundraising the money to pay for it. The support from the business houses and the community for the project was overwhelming.
What really helped me in getting it going, were my fellow VRA volunteers. Their support was instrumental. Cultivating a strong team that supports me in good times and tough times is the best advice I can give anyone. Our VRA members come from all walks of life, but they all have one thing in common – the desire to help out and give back to their community. They’re people you can count on and I’m proud to have every single one of them in our Taree VRA organisation.
This year I was selected by Sensis to be on the cover of the Taree White Pages® and Yellow Pages® in recognition of my work with the VRA. The theme is A Helping Hand, The Aussie Way, and helping others is exactly that – the Aussie way. I hope recognition of the VRA makes the community proud, as well as our volunteers who give so much.
With the new vehicle, Taree is now well protected in emergencies and we continue to be tested, most recently with terrible floods. I’m happy to see the new vehicle we took upon ourselves to build for the community out there helping residents when they need it most.
By Amanda Allen
www.realisept.com.au
www.realisept.com.au
ATHLETIC JOURNEY
Looking back on the past 41 years, I find it increasingly difficult to connect with the woman I was. The woman who suffered deep, suicidal depression, heavy drinking, self-loathing; the woman consumed by self-consciousness, an immobilising lack of self-esteem and an inability to commit to anything positive and to stay the course.
Depression was a brooding and corrosive force in my life, like a fierce storm it would sweep through my relationships and responsibilities, decimating, confusing and leaving debris – leaving remnants of a life. It never gave me notice, it never allowed me to achieve, it always took more…more than I had to loose, more than I could rebuild, more energy than I could bare…it was like rust eating my soul, my will, my hope and my strength. I was slave to this all-consuming black dog.
No one could save me. I was a failure, trapped in my own skin. My negative self-talk was unrelenting. Day by day depression pulled me deeper. Suicidal ideation was the norm for me.
Addicted to sugar I over-ate to feel pleasure, numb with fear I watched TV to escape, to undo the eating I ran and exercised, to anesthetise the unbearable heaviness of being I drank excessively, to withdraw further I used marijuana and other drugs, I spent money I didn’t have on clothing to make me feel better about my body and myself, I sought sanctuary in excessive sleep and I isolated to hide my social-discomfort and self-consciousness.
I sought partners to fill the black hole inside of me, but my deep belief in my worthlessness would not allow me to believe they could love me, so I destroyed these relationships or entered destructive ones that aligned more closely with my very low level of self-esteem.
For 20 years I filled diary after diary with desperate pleas for help, relief and answers. I went to therapist after therapist, read every self-help book going, highlighting and underlining everything that resonated with me, hoping to find the key to my freedom from depression and self-loathing.
At school I sought escape in physical activity. It seemed to be the only glue that held me together…it gave me a natural high, a sense of achievement; I was good at it. Friends scared me, I couldn’t understand how to relate to them socially, it was as though other people got the handbook on ‘How to Do Life’ and I missed out. I dropped out of private school, began going to night clubs, drinking and partying. I moved out of home at 14 and began working. It was another 10 years of working, drinking, travelling and self-destructive behaviour before I knew I was in deep trouble if I didn’t do something to save myself. I didn’t know for a long time that I was depressed, I just knew I was desperately unhappy.
I knew that I had to be physically active – I had to burn off the excess energy that coursed destructively through my veins. In my quest for relief from depression I became a professional triathlete, I didn’t set out to become a world class athlete, I simply knew that I had to move my body to save my life. The more I trained the better I felt, it helped curb the destructive forces of depression...not eliminate them, just curb them.
I found a boyfriend who was into triathlon and I stuck to him like glue. I didn’t have the will power to manage regular training myself, so I did what he did; he carried me, taught me, coached me. It was a beginning. I did well in Triathlon almost immediately, placing 2nd at my first University Games, and I began placing highly in local state level races. I was always numbingly nervous before races, but I stuck close to my boyfriend and got through. Where I would have been out at night drinking heavily and eating sugar, instead I was training and eating fresh foods and pasta before races…I copied him. Of course that relationship didn’t last and I was left with myself again.
There are many races and training sessions over the years that I turned up to heavily hung over, depressed and sick with fear and self-loathing. There are many sessions I turned up to that probably saved my life. At some point I began turning up more than not showing up - I kept turning up to training and racing, day after day, despite what my head told me.
I found a coach who seemed to care about me, and I turned up to him. I turned up for him when I couldn’t turn up for myself. It got me through a number of years…I still struggled desperately, but it seems that this time was a turning point in my life.
A year or so later I found another partner who turned my life around further - toward healthy living, triathlon and away from drinking. I stuck to him like glue too. He coached me and carried me and my Triathlon career took off further. I won many races at state, national and world level, I travelled overseas, was contracted to race in France and Europe…in time this relationship deteriorated - that old sense of lack took hold of me again and I destroyed the good in my life.
I drank harder, fell deeper into depression and struggled to come back to triathlon. I went to train with another coach, a man internationally recognised, I wanted to make the Sydney Olympics, but I was on a downward spiral that was gaining momentum. I crashed and burned, unable to train. I headed home to Adelaide to hide from my shame and failure.
In time I found another sport, Track Cycling, I teamed with a blind athlete, I was the pilot on the front of a tandem bike. We won state and national titles, set records and qualified for the Paralympics. But again, my depression and drinking continued to haunt and overwhelm me, I simply couldn’t turn up to the positive stuff of my life. Again I self-destructed and withdrew before seeing my commitment through.
It took me another 2 years from this time before I finally sought medical help. I’d kept seeing therapist all my life, but I finally asked for medical support - anti-depressant. I was finally willing and able to admit that I could not cope, that I was deeply depressed.
I spent the next 5 years on high doses of Cipramil. It helped, it slowed the black thoughts, alleviated the depths of despair that I had suffered with regularity. Over those 5 years I studied all manner of health, fitness, yoga, meditation, psychology and lifestyle courses. My ability to turn up consistently to my commitments grew and strengthened. I began to change my diet and lifestyle – very slowly and very haltingly – two steps forward two steps back, but I kept on, integrating new strategies for health and wellbeing through trial and error.
2 years ago I took up a new women’s sport High Kneeling Canoeing. I won state and national titles inside 6 months of participating in the sport; however I didn’t make the World Championship team, which had been my focus. I did feel a little robbed and confused, but it didn’t overwhelm me or send me spiralling into depression. I looked toward the next challenge.
At 41 years of age I find myself doing Crossfit - climbing ropes, swinging from gymnastics rings, Olympic weightlifting, running, jumping and competing against women half my age on the international stage! And I love it as I have never loved anything before.
It would seem that persistence, determination, hard work, and a lot of blood, sweat and tears are bringing unexpected rewards late in my life. In July 2011, I was crowned the 19th Fittest Woman on the planet at the Reebok Crossfit Games held in California, USA! In South Australia I am recognised as both the Strongest Woman (Strongman Competition) and the Fittest Woman (Crossfit Competition) and I placed second at the State Weightlifting Championships.
I no longer take anti-depressants; I’ve been off them about 3 years. But I didn’t rush off them. I took my time and put many, many strategies in place before I slowly came off the dosage.
I’ve not experienced the depths of suicidal depression - that were common for me - in about 3 years. I’m not close to perfect, I still feel uncomfortable socially, but I socialise. I still crave sugar but I eat it rarely and am very careful with my diet. I haven’t drunk alcohol in 7.5 years and I don’t intend to again. I turn up to all my obligations and responsibilities today. I motivate and discipline myself in my athletic pursuits, not riding on other people’s energy. My terminal seriousness has been replaced by a healthy sense of the ridiculous – I laugh at myself a lot these days, it is a healing act!
For the first time in my life I actually like being me, I like my body, my health, my work, my friends and my family…I will always be a work in progress…but as I reflect, I see miracles at work in my life that 10 and 20 years ago I could not have believed possible. I am so very grateful to be alive, and to be living a healthy, passionate, purposeful life, experiencing a sense of ease and comfort inside my own skin. WOW!
Depression was a brooding and corrosive force in my life, like a fierce storm it would sweep through my relationships and responsibilities, decimating, confusing and leaving debris – leaving remnants of a life. It never gave me notice, it never allowed me to achieve, it always took more…more than I had to loose, more than I could rebuild, more energy than I could bare…it was like rust eating my soul, my will, my hope and my strength. I was slave to this all-consuming black dog.
No one could save me. I was a failure, trapped in my own skin. My negative self-talk was unrelenting. Day by day depression pulled me deeper. Suicidal ideation was the norm for me.
Addicted to sugar I over-ate to feel pleasure, numb with fear I watched TV to escape, to undo the eating I ran and exercised, to anesthetise the unbearable heaviness of being I drank excessively, to withdraw further I used marijuana and other drugs, I spent money I didn’t have on clothing to make me feel better about my body and myself, I sought sanctuary in excessive sleep and I isolated to hide my social-discomfort and self-consciousness.
I sought partners to fill the black hole inside of me, but my deep belief in my worthlessness would not allow me to believe they could love me, so I destroyed these relationships or entered destructive ones that aligned more closely with my very low level of self-esteem.
For 20 years I filled diary after diary with desperate pleas for help, relief and answers. I went to therapist after therapist, read every self-help book going, highlighting and underlining everything that resonated with me, hoping to find the key to my freedom from depression and self-loathing.
At school I sought escape in physical activity. It seemed to be the only glue that held me together…it gave me a natural high, a sense of achievement; I was good at it. Friends scared me, I couldn’t understand how to relate to them socially, it was as though other people got the handbook on ‘How to Do Life’ and I missed out. I dropped out of private school, began going to night clubs, drinking and partying. I moved out of home at 14 and began working. It was another 10 years of working, drinking, travelling and self-destructive behaviour before I knew I was in deep trouble if I didn’t do something to save myself. I didn’t know for a long time that I was depressed, I just knew I was desperately unhappy.
I knew that I had to be physically active – I had to burn off the excess energy that coursed destructively through my veins. In my quest for relief from depression I became a professional triathlete, I didn’t set out to become a world class athlete, I simply knew that I had to move my body to save my life. The more I trained the better I felt, it helped curb the destructive forces of depression...not eliminate them, just curb them.
I found a boyfriend who was into triathlon and I stuck to him like glue. I didn’t have the will power to manage regular training myself, so I did what he did; he carried me, taught me, coached me. It was a beginning. I did well in Triathlon almost immediately, placing 2nd at my first University Games, and I began placing highly in local state level races. I was always numbingly nervous before races, but I stuck close to my boyfriend and got through. Where I would have been out at night drinking heavily and eating sugar, instead I was training and eating fresh foods and pasta before races…I copied him. Of course that relationship didn’t last and I was left with myself again.
There are many races and training sessions over the years that I turned up to heavily hung over, depressed and sick with fear and self-loathing. There are many sessions I turned up to that probably saved my life. At some point I began turning up more than not showing up - I kept turning up to training and racing, day after day, despite what my head told me.
I found a coach who seemed to care about me, and I turned up to him. I turned up for him when I couldn’t turn up for myself. It got me through a number of years…I still struggled desperately, but it seems that this time was a turning point in my life.
A year or so later I found another partner who turned my life around further - toward healthy living, triathlon and away from drinking. I stuck to him like glue too. He coached me and carried me and my Triathlon career took off further. I won many races at state, national and world level, I travelled overseas, was contracted to race in France and Europe…in time this relationship deteriorated - that old sense of lack took hold of me again and I destroyed the good in my life.
I drank harder, fell deeper into depression and struggled to come back to triathlon. I went to train with another coach, a man internationally recognised, I wanted to make the Sydney Olympics, but I was on a downward spiral that was gaining momentum. I crashed and burned, unable to train. I headed home to Adelaide to hide from my shame and failure.
In time I found another sport, Track Cycling, I teamed with a blind athlete, I was the pilot on the front of a tandem bike. We won state and national titles, set records and qualified for the Paralympics. But again, my depression and drinking continued to haunt and overwhelm me, I simply couldn’t turn up to the positive stuff of my life. Again I self-destructed and withdrew before seeing my commitment through.
It took me another 2 years from this time before I finally sought medical help. I’d kept seeing therapist all my life, but I finally asked for medical support - anti-depressant. I was finally willing and able to admit that I could not cope, that I was deeply depressed.
I spent the next 5 years on high doses of Cipramil. It helped, it slowed the black thoughts, alleviated the depths of despair that I had suffered with regularity. Over those 5 years I studied all manner of health, fitness, yoga, meditation, psychology and lifestyle courses. My ability to turn up consistently to my commitments grew and strengthened. I began to change my diet and lifestyle – very slowly and very haltingly – two steps forward two steps back, but I kept on, integrating new strategies for health and wellbeing through trial and error.
2 years ago I took up a new women’s sport High Kneeling Canoeing. I won state and national titles inside 6 months of participating in the sport; however I didn’t make the World Championship team, which had been my focus. I did feel a little robbed and confused, but it didn’t overwhelm me or send me spiralling into depression. I looked toward the next challenge.
At 41 years of age I find myself doing Crossfit - climbing ropes, swinging from gymnastics rings, Olympic weightlifting, running, jumping and competing against women half my age on the international stage! And I love it as I have never loved anything before.
It would seem that persistence, determination, hard work, and a lot of blood, sweat and tears are bringing unexpected rewards late in my life. In July 2011, I was crowned the 19th Fittest Woman on the planet at the Reebok Crossfit Games held in California, USA! In South Australia I am recognised as both the Strongest Woman (Strongman Competition) and the Fittest Woman (Crossfit Competition) and I placed second at the State Weightlifting Championships.
I no longer take anti-depressants; I’ve been off them about 3 years. But I didn’t rush off them. I took my time and put many, many strategies in place before I slowly came off the dosage.
I’ve not experienced the depths of suicidal depression - that were common for me - in about 3 years. I’m not close to perfect, I still feel uncomfortable socially, but I socialise. I still crave sugar but I eat it rarely and am very careful with my diet. I haven’t drunk alcohol in 7.5 years and I don’t intend to again. I turn up to all my obligations and responsibilities today. I motivate and discipline myself in my athletic pursuits, not riding on other people’s energy. My terminal seriousness has been replaced by a healthy sense of the ridiculous – I laugh at myself a lot these days, it is a healing act!
For the first time in my life I actually like being me, I like my body, my health, my work, my friends and my family…I will always be a work in progress…but as I reflect, I see miracles at work in my life that 10 and 20 years ago I could not have believed possible. I am so very grateful to be alive, and to be living a healthy, passionate, purposeful life, experiencing a sense of ease and comfort inside my own skin. WOW!
By Hetty Jonston
Executive Director & Founder of Bravehearts Inc
8th March 2012
Executive Director & Founder of Bravehearts Inc
8th March 2012
BRAVEHEART FOUNDS BRAVEHEART
Hetty Johnston is the Founder and Executive Director of Bravehearts Inc, Australia’s leading child protection advocate.
A born lobbyist, Hetty is a woman of passion and determination who is breaking the silence surrounding the issue of paedophilia within media, families, schools and the general community.
Hetty established Bravehearts in 1997 after her own daughter disclosed having been sexually assaulted by a trusted and loved family member. Bravehearts is an organisation whose vision is to make Australia the safest place in the world to raise a child. it's purpose is to provide therapy, support and advocacy services to survivors of child sexual assault, and to increase prevention - by way of education and awareness - to both adults and children.
In 2005, Hetty was announced as a finalist for the 2006 Australian of the Year Awards – she is the recipient of two Australian Lawyers Alliance Civil Justice Awards (2003,2004) and was named a finalist in the 2008 Suncorp Queenslander of the Year Awards.
In early 2009, Hetty was recognised as one of approximately 70 outstanding leaders throughout the world, receiving the prestigious annual Toastmasters International Communication and Leadership award. In 2011, she was a Qld finalist in the Telstra Business Women’s Awards.
She has authored her own auto-biography, In the Best Interests of the Child, and has been a contributing author to various books including ‘Crime on my Mind’ and ‘Woman on Top’.
Her responsibilities have included:
• Chaired the Queensland Child Protection Week Committee for three years,
• Held a position on the Board of NAPCAN (National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect),
• Held a position on the Board with ASCA (Advocates for Survivors of Child Abuse),
• Sat as Chair for the Endeavour Foundation’s ‘Abuse Prevention and Response Committee’,
• Recently sat on the 2008 Federal Government’s Working Party on a ‘National Approach to Child Protection’,
• And currently sits on the Federal Governments working party on Cyber-Safety.
Hetty works with government and non-government agencies on legislative reform, submissions, lobbying and research to improve child protection and political accountability in Australia.
Bravehearts now operates across 4 states and in nine locations across Australia and has helped, protected and educated over 1/2 milliion Australian families.
A born lobbyist, Hetty is a woman of passion and determination who is breaking the silence surrounding the issue of paedophilia within media, families, schools and the general community.
Hetty established Bravehearts in 1997 after her own daughter disclosed having been sexually assaulted by a trusted and loved family member. Bravehearts is an organisation whose vision is to make Australia the safest place in the world to raise a child. it's purpose is to provide therapy, support and advocacy services to survivors of child sexual assault, and to increase prevention - by way of education and awareness - to both adults and children.
In 2005, Hetty was announced as a finalist for the 2006 Australian of the Year Awards – she is the recipient of two Australian Lawyers Alliance Civil Justice Awards (2003,2004) and was named a finalist in the 2008 Suncorp Queenslander of the Year Awards.
In early 2009, Hetty was recognised as one of approximately 70 outstanding leaders throughout the world, receiving the prestigious annual Toastmasters International Communication and Leadership award. In 2011, she was a Qld finalist in the Telstra Business Women’s Awards.
She has authored her own auto-biography, In the Best Interests of the Child, and has been a contributing author to various books including ‘Crime on my Mind’ and ‘Woman on Top’.
Her responsibilities have included:
• Chaired the Queensland Child Protection Week Committee for three years,
• Held a position on the Board of NAPCAN (National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect),
• Held a position on the Board with ASCA (Advocates for Survivors of Child Abuse),
• Sat as Chair for the Endeavour Foundation’s ‘Abuse Prevention and Response Committee’,
• Recently sat on the 2008 Federal Government’s Working Party on a ‘National Approach to Child Protection’,
• And currently sits on the Federal Governments working party on Cyber-Safety.
Hetty works with government and non-government agencies on legislative reform, submissions, lobbying and research to improve child protection and political accountability in Australia.
Bravehearts now operates across 4 states and in nine locations across Australia and has helped, protected and educated over 1/2 milliion Australian families.
By Gary Goldstein
8th March 2012
8th March 2012
FROM CELL TO SURVIVAL
My name is Gary Goldstein, author of "Jew in Jail," and if there is one thing that anyone and everyone out there can learn from my story, it is the fact that it is NEVER too late to turn one's life around in order to become a productive member of society and enjoy a happy, healthy and fulfilled lifestyle among family, friends, and the world in general.
As a recovering alcoholic, drug addict, and compulsive gambler, it took me many years - including numerous relapses and time in prison - to finally ask for the help I needed, due to the fact that I had been living with low self-esteem and self-confidence. However, once I was released from prison in 2004, and after one last relapse, I finally decided to seek help for my disease, and attended and graduated from an outpatient drug treatment program, which was the best move I ever made, as I learned so much about myself and fellow man.
Today, I serve as the chairman and president of that program's alumni graduating committee, whereby I speak to the current clients, as well as patients in hospital detoxes, detainees in jails, students in school, etc., and instill in them the fact that they don't have to succumb to this dreaded disease, and can overcome any other obstacles that might come their way and go on to lead a fruitful and successful life.
Simply put, EVERYBODY has greatness in them, and it is up to each of us to seek out what ours is, and then contribute to making this a better world for all.
As a motivational and inspirational speaker, it brings me such joy and happiness to help someone through a tough time and assist in their growth, and I know that we all, as humans, have unlimited potential. There is no shame in asking for help, but rather in not asking, and I, for one, am I shining example of the former, and what positive results may occur because of it!
In closing, I want everyone to smile, be happy, work hard in life, and always realize that nothing is ever too difficult to overcome through hard work, perseverance and discipline.
As a recovering alcoholic, drug addict, and compulsive gambler, it took me many years - including numerous relapses and time in prison - to finally ask for the help I needed, due to the fact that I had been living with low self-esteem and self-confidence. However, once I was released from prison in 2004, and after one last relapse, I finally decided to seek help for my disease, and attended and graduated from an outpatient drug treatment program, which was the best move I ever made, as I learned so much about myself and fellow man.
Today, I serve as the chairman and president of that program's alumni graduating committee, whereby I speak to the current clients, as well as patients in hospital detoxes, detainees in jails, students in school, etc., and instill in them the fact that they don't have to succumb to this dreaded disease, and can overcome any other obstacles that might come their way and go on to lead a fruitful and successful life.
Simply put, EVERYBODY has greatness in them, and it is up to each of us to seek out what ours is, and then contribute to making this a better world for all.
As a motivational and inspirational speaker, it brings me such joy and happiness to help someone through a tough time and assist in their growth, and I know that we all, as humans, have unlimited potential. There is no shame in asking for help, but rather in not asking, and I, for one, am I shining example of the former, and what positive results may occur because of it!
In closing, I want everyone to smile, be happy, work hard in life, and always realize that nothing is ever too difficult to overcome through hard work, perseverance and discipline.
FROM THE EDITOR
Hi again,
This quarter, I discovered a pearl of wisdom in a most unlikely place and from an unlikely character, which I might have missed if I didn't...
Listen! to all, regardless of their status; their appearance - even if they're fictional. Let experiences, people, books, moments, teach me what I needed to learn.
Let's pick wisdom from encounters with the same mindset as we pick herbs from a garden - to fulfill a lacking of something/understanding.
This fine Autumn, I identifyed my essential herb while my brother was reviewing a book he was reading: 'The 13 1/2 lives of Captain Bluebear' by Walter Moers.
"It's a lighthearted and fun story," he shared, as he flicked the pages contently, and gave me a brief account of the lives the character lived. One of those lives: when Captain Bluebear built a house in his tornado, resonated with me!
Building a house in a tornado? I translate to: finding a way to become okay with it, when life becomes messy. Instead of wishing ordeals and dramas away, which consequently means wishing time away - isn't life short enough? Get comfortable! Open a window, let in some fresh air, and take in the experience. Sure, it's not ideal, but we can't change it, and it's part of our journey and destiny, so we may as well accept it...and...build a house!
Thanks for coming
Louise Crossley
This quarter, I discovered a pearl of wisdom in a most unlikely place and from an unlikely character, which I might have missed if I didn't...
Listen! to all, regardless of their status; their appearance - even if they're fictional. Let experiences, people, books, moments, teach me what I needed to learn.
Let's pick wisdom from encounters with the same mindset as we pick herbs from a garden - to fulfill a lacking of something/understanding.
This fine Autumn, I identifyed my essential herb while my brother was reviewing a book he was reading: 'The 13 1/2 lives of Captain Bluebear' by Walter Moers.
"It's a lighthearted and fun story," he shared, as he flicked the pages contently, and gave me a brief account of the lives the character lived. One of those lives: when Captain Bluebear built a house in his tornado, resonated with me!
Building a house in a tornado? I translate to: finding a way to become okay with it, when life becomes messy. Instead of wishing ordeals and dramas away, which consequently means wishing time away - isn't life short enough? Get comfortable! Open a window, let in some fresh air, and take in the experience. Sure, it's not ideal, but we can't change it, and it's part of our journey and destiny, so we may as well accept it...and...build a house!
Thanks for coming
Louise Crossley